Fo rizzle. Is it even cool to talk like that anymore? If you remember correctly, I was being electricuted every 10 minutes by my own freaking tooth. And it went on for, oh, 3 weeks? I finally found a dentist but the a-hole REFUSED to take only 1 tooth.
The following is EXACTLY what was said between us. No joke.
Okay, I'm joking but this is what my brain on pain killers heard.
A-hole: I know you're dying and you have 2 kids who depend on you 24/7 but I'm a jackass who wants to take TEN of your teeth. Because I can. Because you pay me to do it. Because you're poor and you have crooked teeth. So of course I want to take your front teeth, even though braces could fix those. You're already 21 and on the verge of death so let's get those bad boys out. You're used to purees anyways, right? Since you know, you're dying and here you are in my chair on the verge of tears because of the pain? Let's reschedule you in to take TEN of those bad boys out. Oh, and don't worry, it'll only cost you rougly 3,000 dollars. See how AWESOME I am?!
Me on drugs: crickets chirping. I get out of the damn chair and I go back to the waiting room where Paisley is being cute and Jasper's being cuter and hubs is sitting. I start crying because of a-hole.
We finally found a dentist who was willing to work with me. THANK THE TOOTH FAIRY FOR DENTALWORKS. Seriously, these bastards give you what you want. And it doesn't hurt that the man smelling my stank breath and chopping my teeth up was fun to look at. Although, I tend to shut my eyes while getting dental work. Are you supposed to close your eyes? I'm not sure how that works, but I feel like whoever is torturing my mouth probably doesn't want me staring them down. So I close my eyeballs. I hope that isn't rude.
So good looking dentist got me nice and comfy. He even even numbed my gums with some pink liquid on a q tip. How nice. He let that settle then he started asking me if this hurt and that hurt and yadda yadda. He warned me about the pressure. Then come the needles. The needles that go in your gums up under your teeth and OH THE PAINNNNN. What, no pain? Only one spot hurt. It was just a pinch, though. So some time passes and all I'm feeling is pressure. That's it. And before I know it, my 2 teeth were gone. They took my 2 worst out (both were decayed and unrestorable). And I felt GOOD.
I've had a temporary crown on one of my teeh for oh, 8 years maybe?! Those things are meant to last for like 6 months maybe. Mine is still in tact. Mr. Goodlooking had to remove the crown and put it back on or else while taking one tooth out, it could have busted. They didn't even charge me for that. THEY REDID A CROWN FOR FREE. How sweet!
Then it was time to go and mr. goodlooking gave me a couple prescriptions and I opened my fatass swollen mouth to tell him that I was breastfeeding. So Mr. Goodlooking kind of turned into another a-hole and snatched the scripts from me. I called later and told them that I could at least take the Ibuprofen and they happily sent the script over to my local pharmacy.
I spent the rest of the day in pain and I was in full blown bitch mode. KIDS GET AWAY FROM ME I'M DYING. I'M DYING FOR JUST ONE MORE DAY AND THEN YOU CAN TORTURE ME. JUST LET ME DIE FIRST. I've also lost 5 pounds. I've been trying so damn hard to GAIN weight. I finally got up to 110 (eating junk food and fast food and only drinking soda and sweet tea is hard work.) and now I'm back down to 105. But, that just means that once I'm able to eat again, hubby must bring me cheeseburgers and large sweet teas after work. At 1 in the morning. That's seriously the best time to eat a hot a juicy burger. After you've already been asleep. I can taste it now.
Now I'm recovering and I can't use a straw and I can't even eat and I miss food. I haven't taken any pain meds today. I'M PAIN FREE. For the first time in 3 weeks, I feel no pain. I just feel 2 giant ass holes in my mouth that could explode and pour blood at any moment. I even slept with my head elevated last night. Please Tooth Fairy, let me okay like tomorrow. And make my toddler stop screaming at me at the top of her lungs.
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