While it is an extremely interesting story, we will NOT go into how Brandon and I got together. If you know us, then chances are you know the story. Although I happily admit that we chose to make a baby only 2 weeks into our relationship, and we succeeded. Yes, Paisley was very much a planned pregnancy. While not the best idea at the time, nobody can deny that she has made a world of a difference in the lives of many. The pregnancy was a dream. Honest. No morning sickness, no discomfort whatsoever (except horrific nose bleeds). She was due on the 16th of September 2009, and that's exactly when she made her entrance. I was induced due to discomfort (I developed hydrocephalus at birth, requiring me to have a cerebral shunt and tubing into my abdomen. The tubing is only so long and as huge as I was in my 9th month, the tube was being tugged on... I HAD to get that baby out. I'm sure I'll give you the facts of hydrocephalus later). I went to the hospital at 6something in the morning, ready to be induced! First we started pitocin, then broke my water. HOLY WATER SPILL. That was the craziest thing I have ever experienced and it was quite hysterical. I was laughing my ass off because I kept randomly gushing and couldn't tell if it was pee or amniotic fluid. I made my nurse check a few times. My family had me laughing the whole effing time I was in labor, making fun of my belly bouncing each time I giggled. I received an epidural at nearly 7cm dilated thanks to the terrors of back labor, and after 20 minutes of pushing (while nurses, my doctor, and my family guessed if the "woman" on Maury was indeed a woman or a man - no, I am NOT kidding about this) my bundle of joy was born. 7lbs. 12oz. of pure bliss. She was a happy baby, yadda yadda. I breastfed her until 5 months when I lost my supply due to birth control (devastation). And I'll go ahead and say that in the room with me when I delivered was my husband, my mom, my sister, and my dad. Yes, my dad. I get gross looks for that one, but whatev!
I'm skipping a bunch (including a pregnancy) that will be blogged about next time. Miscarriages to me are very near and dear and they should be taken seriously. For the life of me, I cannot find a way to make it remotely funny so I will not be discussing it in an otherwise funny birthing story. Just know that when Paisley was 6 months old, we found out we were pregnant, lost it, then found out 2 months later we were pregnant again (with Jasper). Here's his story.
Our due date was January 1st, 2011. I was convinced I'd have a Christmas baby. This pregnancy was wonderful, too. No morning sickness, no nothing. Until I hit 8 months, sciatica is a mothereffer! But I got releif from Dr. Pretty, er, my chiropractor. Come Christmas Eve, I decided to make a castor oil milkshake. I KNOW, I KNOW. But I only used like half of the smallest recommended dose, so give me a break. And, nothing happened. Until after I fell asleep on the couch. My lovely husband decided to pull a prank on me. At 4 in the morning, on Christmas morning. THANK YOU JESUS (ha... ha..). I woke up to a pair of balls in my face (literally, and hubby don't be mad for me posting this... you know it's funny!). And I was in a puddle of something unrecognizable. I waited a couple hours before heading to the hospital because I honestly thought that I had just uhm pooed myself thanks to the castor oil (it causes contractions in your bowel, causing you to have diarrhea. fun, right?). Turns out it wasn't my water, but it wasn't poo either (so what was it?!) but I was already 5cm dilated so they kept me and broke and my water and yadda yadda. Jasper got scared and ran back up into my ribs, causing his own stress, and putting me on oxygen. Then when I hit 10cm dilated (epidural too by the way, Got it at 7cm as well), we discovered that he had a bowel movement. SCARY STUFF. Seriously, if your baby ingests his or her own poop, it can cause them to be in the NICU. Well, Jasper wasn't having any of that crap (hahahaha, I'm punny) and he thought it was a good idea to shoot out of my wahoo like a cannon ball! No doctor necessary, just went right into the nurses arms... I never even pushed! That's right, an 8lb. 10oz cannon ball shot out of my wahoo. And he was perfect... he hadn't ingested his poo (miconium), thank goodness. He ended up with some other medical problems which I'll get to later. But at that moment, he was perfectly healthy and happy, and obviously growing up to be a mama's boy. Why is Jasper's more interesting than Paisley's story? Ah well. In the room with me when he was born was only B! Mom and others was stuck in Asheville thanks to a white Christmas and my dad was at home with P.
I could go on and on about the weeks after births but I won't. I will, however, post about my parenting decisions at another time. Now time for cake. Again.
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